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Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences in a flexible, adaptive way. It is a skill that can be taught, practised, and strengthened.

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation refers to the ability to recognise, understand, and manage one's emotional state — and to respond to situations in a way that is appropriate to the context. It involves both the ability to calm down when upset and the ability to energise when needed.

Children are not born with fully developed regulation skills — these develop gradually with experience, modelling, and explicit teaching. Some children find this harder than others due to sensory processing differences, anxiety, neurodevelopmental differences, or limited exposure to co-regulation strategies.

The Zones of Regulation

The Zones of Regulation is a widely used framework developed by occupational therapist Leah Kuypers. It uses four colour-coded zones to help children categorise how they are feeling and understand their level of alertness and emotional intensity.

Blue Zone

Low energy, slow, sad, sick, tired, bored. The body feels sluggish and it is hard to engage.

Examples: Feeling sleepy in class, moving slowly, appearing withdrawn.

Green Zone

Calm, focused, happy, ready to learn. This is the optimal zone for learning and social interaction.

Examples: Focused during lessons, playing cooperatively, feeling content.

Yellow Zone

Elevated alertness — excited, anxious, silly, frustrated, nervous. Still some control but harder to manage.

Examples: Feeling excited before a party, nervous before a test, getting silly with friends.

Red Zone

Very high intensity — angry, terrified, out of control, elated. Difficult to think clearly or make good decisions.

Examples: Meltdowns, extreme panic, aggressive behaviour, uncontrollable excitement.

The goal is not to always be in the Green Zone — all zones are normal and valid. The aim is to help children recognise which zone they are in and develop strategies to shift to a more helpful state when needed.

Interoception

Interoception is the sense that tells us what is happening inside our body — hunger, thirst, heart rate, temperature, pain, and emotional feelings. It is sometimes called the "eighth sense."

Interoception is closely linked to emotional regulation. Before a child can manage their emotions, they need to be able to feel and identify the physical sensations associated with different emotional states — for example, noticing a racing heart when anxious, or a tight chest when angry.

Children with poor interoceptive awareness may:

  • Have difficulty identifying or naming their emotions
  • Not notice hunger or thirst until extreme
  • Have unexpected emotional outbursts that seem to "come from nowhere"
  • Struggle to understand why they feel the way they do
  • Have difficulty with toilet training or recognising the need to use the bathroom

Building Interoceptive Awareness

Body check-ins

Regularly ask "How does your body feel right now?" to build the habit of noticing internal states.

Emotion-body mapping

Draw a body outline and colour in where different emotions are felt (e.g. butterflies in the tummy for nervous).

Mindful movement

Yoga, stretching, and slow breathing draw attention to body sensations in a safe, structured way.

Feelings check-in charts

Visual tools like feelings thermometers or zone charts help children externalise and identify their internal state.

Regulation Strategies to Try at Home

Different strategies work for different children. The key is to practise these tools when the child is calm — not in the middle of a meltdown — so they become automatic when needed.

Deep breathing

Slow, deep breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system and help calm the body. Try "smell the flowers, blow out the candles."

Heavy work

Carrying heavy objects, pushing, pulling, and climbing provide proprioceptive input that is naturally calming and organising.

Sensory tools

Fidget tools, weighted items, or chewy snacks can help regulate the nervous system for some children.

Movement breaks

Jumping, running, or dancing for a few minutes can shift a child from a dysregulated to a more regulated state.

Co-regulation

A calm adult presence is one of the most powerful regulation tools. Children co-regulate with the adults around them.

Safe space

A quiet, low-stimulation corner with calming items (soft toys, books, sensory tools) gives children a place to reset.

Need Support With Emotional Regulation?

We can assess your child's regulation profile, identify contributing factors, and develop a personalised plan using evidence-based frameworks including the Zones of Regulation and interoception-based approaches.

Get in Touch

The information on this page is for general educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Please consult a qualified occupational therapist for assessment and individualised recommendations.

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